F*ing Computers

I hate computers. This is bad when you work in an industry like I do… I am an IT specialist. Perhaps this is why I hate computers. They aren’t like people where you have the possibility of slapping them when they piss you off. All you get when you slap a computer is a sore hand. Even hitting the enter key repeatedly to vent frustration just gets you a bunch of beeping and probably another error.

At least people have the ability to tell you what is going on. They may not use it as much as we would like but they do give you more information than “cannot find the driver for PCI device.” I mean what the fuck does that mean exactly? Which PCI device?? There are like 6 on the machine I am building and THEY all have drivers. Even newborn infants give you more information than that!

Microsoft is a company I would like to see have to use the shit that they make. But I want them to use it like we do… with shit like PCI device error and General Protection Fault. My favorite error is the one you get after Microsoft installs their software verification tool. That error has no fix because you can’t reinstall it and there is no way to uninstall the shit. “Reinstall Windows” they say. YOU reinstall windows asshole! Oh, and by the way, reinstall all the other software and copy all the data I had on there too while you are at it!

One day I will attach the media file that shows our friend Bill having Windows crash on him during a presentation. Very satisfying.