Convenience my ass

I think I have found the worst convenience store on the planet. The food is ok and the workers actually do speak English, but the soda machine is never working. More than that, I have to sample the soda I do get from the machine to make sure that what is being dispensed is at least close to what the label says it is.

The Dr. Pepper hasn’t worked since I started going there. That was back in the last week of December. It is now June. You think they could have gotten around to hooking up the Dr. Pepper by now. I mean we are talking about 6 months here. It doesn’t take 6 months to change the syrup, I know this because I have worked food retail before, and have replaced the syrup before. It takes a completely unskilled person about 15 minutes to change it out. It takes 20 if you don’t have the directions. Maybe 30 if you have to find the manager after spending 5 minutes looking for the damn directions and then spend 10 minutes trying to figure it out on your own because you were too proud to ask the manager. But I digress….

Soda machines aren’t that difficult to take care of. Just ask the average McDonalds employee. It certainly should not take 6 months to change out the syrup in one.

It has become sort of a game these days, when I go over there to get my lunch. “Have the fixed the Dr. Pepper yet?” I go to the machine full of hope and dreams that perhaps today will be the day… perhaps I will FINALLY get to have a nice cold Dr. Pepper with my pre-packaged sandwich (Made fresh June 8th. Best before June 12th). A nice tall one (32 ounces at least) with lots of ice so I can enjoy a cold Dr. Pepper in my 1,000 degree office. Each day I go, I approach the machine, looking at the Dr. Pepper button, reaching out slowly, pressing the button, and…. once again, semi-carbonated water comes pouring out. It doesn’t even have the courtesy to bubble. With sagging shoulders I realize that once again no Dr. Pepper. I then switch to the back-up soda. Coke! That staple of late 19th century addiction when they used actual cocaine in the mix. Formula is different these days but the name stuck. But, I digress…

I go to the Coke dispenser with disappointment but at least I will have a nice cold soda. Not my first choice but hey, why be picky right? I press the button and… carbonated water pours out making gentile splashing noises like a relaxing waterfall. Except it would BE relaxing if it were the ACTUAL soda splashing into my ice filled cup dammit! Just breathe, it will be ok… just pick another one. I try the Mountain Dew. Yeah! Real soda coming out! I put some in a cup and sample it. EEEWWWW what the HELL is that?!?

After pouring it out and debating if I should get a different cup I look at the last available choices. Diet, Diet, Diet, and Pepsi. I sigh and look to the Pepsi since I don’t drink anything that starts with the word “die.” I try the Pepsi and it seems ok. I shrug and fill my cup with ice. As I press the Pepsi button I sigh and try to pretend that I am actually getting my Dr. Pepper. Each day is the same routine.

Someone told me once that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I am not sure if this applies here since I really don’t expect different results. I just hope. I occasionally ask the guys working (who speak remarkably good English) “Is the Dr. Pepper going to get fixed?” They look at me an assure me “Tomorrow or early next week” Promises, promises.